my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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