I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
