Porn is love you can see.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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