i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Two words: blizzard sex
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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