I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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