Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
