Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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