When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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