I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
