I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
