FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
