how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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