gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize