he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
