5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
