Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
