Where is the hickey?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
