How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
