Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
