smell my finger.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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