I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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