Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
