yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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