note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
