PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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