I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
