Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
