i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
