I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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