is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
