Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
