He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize