And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
