I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
