No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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