that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
