I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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