I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
All the doctor said was why
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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