i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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