So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
