You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
