He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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