Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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