Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
