Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well I just put wine in my tea
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
not ubering you a puppy
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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