So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
