Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
