Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
