NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
