i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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