member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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