i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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