Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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