I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
